What the Hell is Going On? Queer News!

Issue 2.

Check me out! Two weeks in a row! Take that, DAD. But also papa, if you’re reading this…how are things? It’s been a while.

Sorry, this is a blog for Queer News now, not my daddy issues. I know, what’s the difference?! Yug yug yug. That being said, let’s jump in.

1. Marsha P. Johnson and Slyvia Rivera are getting a monument.

This is a huge deal. Uh, first things first. Marsha P. Johnson and Slyvia Rivera are trans activists who did not throw the first brick at Stonewall. In fact, there’s debate on if there even was a brick thrown at Stonewall. I find this amusing, because we all know JonBenet Ramsay threw the first brick at Stonewall. Marsha and Sylvia (and Masha and Spike) were very prominent during the Stonewall uprisings--as all queer civil rights humans were, dahlings--and actually received a lot of backlash for their outspokenness--from their gay counterparts. Gay white men being discriminatory towards trans people, whaaat?! Go figure. They did things like organize protests; advocate for homeless LGBTQ youth/those affected by H.I.V. and AIDS; and even formed their own organization, Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR), for trans individuals kicked out by their familias. Both died quite young. It’s also highly likely that Marsha was MURDERED by DROWNING. O0o0o0h. So metal.

This statue is going to be one of the first ever statues in the world for transgender people, and will hopefully take some attention off that damn spinning cube on 8^th Street. Fuck you, spinning cube, but also thanks for the mems in early high school. Astor Place was so in.

2. It’s Pride Month! And Stonewall 50!

What does this mean? It means gay men across the country have another reason to Instagram their boyfriends! It’s the true meaning of Pride, Mr. Scrooge!

I kid. And I’m not hating—I did it myself. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

But no, Pride is a time to celebrate and organize. Whichever suits your fancy. Quick guide to Pride: Remember to honor your queer elders before you--see #1 on this list; to commemorate your queer friends if you’re an ally; and to kiki with your queer community if you can! Also remember there are hundreds, probably thousands of organizations across the globe working their jockstrapped asses off to make sure little fruits like you and me can live happy, healthy lives. That is a beautiful thing.

It’s the 50^th Anniversary of Stonewall and NYC is hosting World Pride which means the island of Manhattan is going to be particularly lit this time around. Smell that? That’s poppers in the ozone baby. Pride is here.

P.S. Check your privilege if you're white, cis, or gay. It may not always be easy, but let's remember who needs to be celebrated most: those truly on the margins (see: black, trans, and differently-abled queer people). Also, make sure to not give any money to corporations jumping on the Pride Bandwagon for a quick buck! Ick.

3. Caster Semenya can run again!

Story time. Two years ago I was doing a national tour of a children’s musical, ugh, which was awesome because I got to be negative and worry about my vocal health across the country! I was super obsessed with my boyfriend at the time because he was the one (read: he was not) and the whole cast knew that he was going to be meeting us in Chicago during the second leg of our tour. We took a vote as to what time to leave for Chi-town: 10am or 6am. 6am was the standard and 10am would be modifying the itinerary. The vote had to be unanimous to modify the itinerary, otherwise 6am it was. I said fuck sleeping-in, I want to see my boo, so I abstained, much to the chagrin of my castmates. I felt little remorse because boyfriend and also because I didn’t have to be the one driving. I don’t have my license…told you I was gay! Shortly after, stage management made the announcement that a new rule was being put into place that when voting for what time to leave for trips, AND I QUOTE, “we cannot take into account the personal needs of anyone meeting their significant other.” I know. I was like…”uh, this is about me, right?” and he was all “no hablo ingles” and I was like “esto es sobre mi, no?” and he said “no this is totally a general rule not directed towards anyone also I lied about not speaking English.”

Anyone in their right mind would know that this was #discrimination. And so when the Court of Arbitration suddenly decreed that women with higher-than-average testosterone levels needed to take testosterone-lowering drugs in order to compete, all eyes were on queer South African intersex sprinter Caster Semenya, who, you guessed it, has higher-than-average testosterone levels.

I imagine Caster felt a lot like how I did that fateful evening in a Red Roof Inn in Pittsburgh. The bastards.

There was a big hubbub about it, but THEN a Swiss federal court (god bless the Swedes) was like “this is discrimination you stupid stage manager,” and granted temporary protection to Caster to compete without taking those bullshit drugs. Boo-yah. This is however, only a temporary reprieve. Children’s theatre is forever. But it is not on my resume.

When asked about all this nonsense and her identity as an intersex female Caster simply offered: “I am a woman and I am fast.” Hot.

4. Lyft <3’s Preferred Gender Pronouns

You can now set your preferred gender pronoun on Lyft! This is in partnership with the National Center for Transgender Equality--Lyft will also be providing free NTCE resources to trans drivers on changing their names on legal documents, along with providing up to $200 for the fees.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am el rey de Uber, but…Lyft’s looking pretty hot right now. I haven’t made the switch just yet, but I’ve been responding to a lot of their Instagrams with comments like “dad.” or the heart eyes emoji, so seeds are totally being planted.

All that being said, if you’re looking to be a better ally to trans people, a very easy way is to add your Preferred Gender Pronouns to your email signature or social media bio--even if you’re cisgender! Especially if you’re cisgender. It makes PGPs more universal, and takes the pressure off the trans/gender non-conforming community to be the only ones who have to normalize or “endure” the “burden” of introducing your gender pronouns. It should be the standard! Consider it, babes.

5. There’s going to be a Straight Pride Parade...

…which is crazy because STOMP is still running. Also, ain't nothing gayer than a parade, amateurs.

That’s all for now folx! Tune in next week for What The Hell is Going On? Queer News!, which Michael Doliner recently referred to as his “only source of news.” Cool! Here’s a photo of me violently hungover before a performance of said children’s show: