Notice Me Horton/General Public

There are two things in the world I love most, and that is attention and making people laugh. The internet is an amazing place because it provides me with the tools to closely monitor the activity of all my ex boyfriends. That's neither here nor there, but the Internet is also an amazing place because it provides me with all the tools to both garner attention and make people laugh! Universe, you so good to me. 

And so, along with every white girl in their early 20s, I have finally decided to take the plunge and start a blog. It will touch on things like race, mental health, my mother, my father(???), and so on, but don't be fooled, I assure you the primary objective of this blog is attention. Sweet sweet attention. Negative, positive, neutral, you name it, I want it. 

Several of my friends have told me that I should write, and unlike an unnamed faculty member at the Carnegie Melon Pre-College who told me I probably shouldn't pursue acting, I have taken the former advice to heart. Here I am, writing. Currently, I am sitting on a barstool at a Mediterranean restaurant in Ithaca waiting for an interview with the manager. So far, I have lied about three different things to earn this interview and my preparation for this coveted opportunity has been googling how to pronounce "taboulleh" and shaving. The bartender offered me a glass of water and even though I literally placed a water bottle filled with water on the bar when I walked in I said yes due to my crippling need to please. I also just read an article about how much fluid your body can properly process in an hour, and so I have drank neither her water nor my water. 

It's pronounced TAH-boo-lay, and the emphasis is on the first syllable.