I Paid $140 For This.

I am an outspoken person, I know this to be true. Some of the ideals I hold near and dear to my heart are often in conflict with my colleagues. I have learned to make do with this. However, today I experienced something that I felt for once lined up with the experience and outlook of all my peers. I hold a thought I know to be unanimous. That thought is that the Night at The Farmers Market ©, organized by the senior committee of Ithaca College, was a horrible, anti-climactic experience.

For those of you don't know, I work at the Ithaca Outdoor Store. I know what you're thinking: Jose, you grew up in Queens, you've never even been camping. You are definitely afraid of fire in a way that isn't instinctive but in a way that would suggest you are certainly unequipped to work at a store that specializes in camping equipment. You are exactly right, reader. I got that job through the beautiful practice of lying. I have looked someone right in the eyes and said "yes, this is my preferred hiking backpack as well." Despite my knack for stretching the truth, I assure you this isn't hyperbole. The Night at The Farmers Market © was utter despair.

Working at the Outdoor Store allows me to be in constant view of a hotdog cart. This hotdog cart is run by a lovely man named Lou. Lou also sells chips, sodas, and cheeseburgers. He's what they call in the hot dog world a "triple threat."* These "cheeseburgers" go for $3. Do you know what else costs $3? 12 gumballs. Typically the line to Lou's cart is 4 people max. If someone is really particular with the application of their relish, the greatest amount of time I've waited for a cheeseburger from Lou is 15 minutes. Not tonight, folks. Not tonight. Lou was in fact the oNLY FOOD VENDOR at the Night at The Farmers Market © and the line for his services was so long, I saw the sun both reach its peak and set while I waited. Two and a half hours I waited. Two and a half hours for 12 gumballs.

I am not a difficult person. I pride myself on being a "yes and" kind of girl. Today, underneath haphazardly hung Christmas lights and clutching a free 4 oz. cup of Cold Brew coffee (the only other vendor at this event), I felt my spirit die. A night preaching to yield
"lights, music, food and good times!" gave me darkness, Dave Matthews band, a miserable cheeseburger and regret. Never in my life have I been deceived in this way. I am writing this to you hungry and afraid waiting for a free shuttle to take me home that has been parked for over 25 minutes. I may not make it, but please don't be fooled by my adorable Instagram (@useche.j, follow me!), I truly had a horrible night.

*I call him this.

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