What to Do in NYC When You Have a Day-Off and No Money

1. Loiter! Remember that Pret on 5th Ave you got a turmeric latte from last week because you read a buzzfeed article about the health benefits of turmeric and felt like taking a risk? I bet they’d love it if you sat there for a bit and didn’t buy anything!! Try it. Charge your phone. Walk quickly past the cash register so they don’t acknowledge your mooching. Maybe...even...eat some food you bought elsewhere? Open up that Clif bar baby! Bring on the Tupperware!!! Nothing matters when you’re poor. Nothing. 

2. Sleep. I know, I know, you should be productive and you’re not that tired. But guess what happens when you sleep? Time passes. Not that you’re exactly excited about it being tomorrow but today isn’t necessarily crushing it easier. Escape the void for a bit by closing those precious little eyelids and know that in dream land there is no credit card debt or bills, just a sleepy sleeeeeepy you. 

3. Look at apartments in other cities. 2BR Duplex in Memphis for $250? For each tenant? Total?! What are you doing in Washington Heights paying quadruple that for hot water that shows up only on the odd hours?! There are couples in Portland living in a loft and taking baths! With YOUR hot water!! Cmon. Do it. Open up craigslist and click that other cities tab. Your Broadway dreams can totally come true in Louisville.

4. Window shop. What better way to really indulge in your poverty than to embrace the capitalist consumer-obsessed society that got you there? 30% off all tees? Buy one get one free jeans??? You can do the math all you want but no matter what the value will always be greater than zero aka not in your budget!! You would look great in that sweater though.

5. Cry! Cmon. You know you want to. It’s life’s greatest free gift. You’ve been holding it in all week and this 1 train is practically empty. Let it out babe!! Maybe even call your mom prior?? She’ll ask all the right questions to really amp you up before the big release but goddamnit you wont let her hear you weep. But maybe, just maybe if you elude to how hungry you are enough she’ll send you some money for lunch. Could be lit.