Brown Boy Blues

A submission for New York Times The Edit. The prompt was:

“What’s something you can’t stop talking about?”

Racial diversity on stage. I can’t stop talking about what it feels like to be an actor that belongs to a union with 81.1% active Caucasian members, and then see a show like Hamilton gross $3.4 million in a week. I can’t stop talking about Diana Huey, a Japanese-American actress, who received backlash for portraying Ariel in a production of Little Mermaid. This is a show where a mermaid literally trades her voice in exchange for legs, but people drew the line at their suspension of disbelief at Asian. 

I can’t stop talking about the conflicting principles I often struggle with as an actor of color. How I can be both infuriated at a regional production of Evita for casting entirely non-Latinx principals, but grateful for giving non-white friends near and dear to me a valuable professional opportunity in the ensemble. I can’t stop talking about the burden on actors of colors to be activists--to push creative teams to make the effort to find the right performers that accurately speak to the struggles of a racial demographic, but also to book jobs and pay bills. Would I have taken that Evita contract? Would adding a minuscule percentage to the 3.2% of Equity Hispanic-American actors be as defiant as saying no entirely? Do I have to be defiant all the time?

I can’t stop talking about or, admittedly not talking about, how my enjoyment of media that doesn’t check all the boxes of political correctness feels like an act of carelessness, or worse, complicity. I was moved to tears by Once On This Island, which showcased a black choreographer, non-white principals, traditionally male roles being played by females, and vice-versa. Even then, I could not escape the truth that apparently the best narrative we have to offer young black women is about how what makes you special is your ability to sacrifice your life for an ungrateful white boy, only to be cast aside and turn into a tree. (Although I am inspired by Ti Moune’s pettiness. Don’t want to marry me? Fine, I’ll turn into foliage and destroy your home instead.)

I won’t stop talking about how race in casting is just the tip of the iceberg, and is in fact the symptom of a much larger issue: that people of color are hardly ever behind the table, either as directors, playwrights, or casting associates. For instance, under twelve African-American playwrights have been Tony-nominees. That’s less than three years worth of nominees for an award that’s been around for 70. Statistics look even worse for Asian, Native American and Hispanic creatives. Tip of the iceberg.

What is a win? What is a loss? How is it somehow my job to dismantle a problematic system I didn’t even create? As a Latino member of the entertainment industry who is hungry for perspective, I can say with certainty, and in more than one sense, that these issues are not just black and white.