What the Hell is Going On? Queer News!

Issue 1.

I am gay. Ahhhh! Sorry I screamed, the drama of it all is just riveting. If you didn’t know, part of being queer means that a lot of people want us dead, or to not have any fun—and not just our exes! I’m talking the world, henny.

Currently, being gay is punishable by DEATH in up to 6 countries. Ahhhh (reprise)! But, things are changing—in some cases for the better, in others for the worse. The nature of who I am (see: writer, activist) means that I’ve got my finger on the pulse of what is going on across the globe for the gays, and I thought it’d be fun to share with you all what is happening—weekly? Hopefully? I am afraid of commitment. Hi Joey!*—in a way that is fun and informative. A disclaimer that while my tone may seem apathetic or light, this is all very serious business. I encourage everyone to get smart and advocate for our queer community. I'm doing this because someone somewhere said that comedy was a way to get people to give a shit, so here I go. Hang tight, fruits!

1. Trans people are not “mentally ill!”

You’re probably like, Jose, I know. But up until recently, the U.N. didn’t! Yesiree, trans-related categories were in fact under the World Health Organization’s list of Mental Illnesses, and now they aren’t. The U.N. is all “we didn’t have the information to know it wasn’t a mental illness up until just now” and we’re all like “okay Hillary Clinton we’ll turn the other cheek.” Trans people/allies/activists are super jazzed about this decision, because much like I would love if an international organization published something that said I wasn’t crazy BY LAW, they also love that an international organization published something that said they weren’t crazy. There’s still some issues with how they’re classifying trans people now but…I digress.

2. Carly Rae Jepsen released an album!

I love it.

3. Gay people in Kenya cannot have sex.

Gay sex, that is. Why? Britain! No, actually. Because yt people invaded Africa many moons ago (in a far off place ♫), Kenya, and several other countries have these old school colonial-era laws that ban things like gay sex and tans, which I think is subtext for “we are all in the closet and wish we had tans.” I see right through you colonizers! 3 LGBTQ rights org CHALLENGED this law and after putting it off for three years the Kenyan High Court sent a text that was like “omg sorry just seeing this, but also no.” Fucked up. LGBTQ rights orgs are responding accordingly (see: rage and disappointment) and the organizations are already planning to appeal…stay tuned. 

P.S. I made up the part about the #bansontans. They would so do that though, right?

4. Aaand no abortions for Gretchen Wieners.

The U.S. is going cuckoo bananas for abortion bans rn. Louisiana is about to pass a “heartbeat” abortion ban, which would not allow women to receive an abortion should a fetal heartbeat be detectable. That’s as early as 6 weeks, or as early as missing your period for just TWO WEEKS. I have this weird pain in my eye every time I blink, and it’s been going on for three days. I’ve googled it and…it’s cancer! My point is, people don’t see doctors right away when something’s up, so to expect women to both discover and then terminate a pregnancy within 6 weeks is…preposterous. Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, and Ohio also have heartbeat abortion bans. Alabama has a total abortion ban. I am a total abortion fan. I can’t even really be funny about how fucked up and scary this is--several of these bills make no exception for rape or incest. To all the womxn in my life and not in my life, I grieve for you and I support you. Abortions are healthcare!

Also, if you're a doctor and you're reading this the eye thing feels kind of like a black eye but under my skin? I hope it's allergies?? Am I dying?

That’s all for now. Tune in next week (eep!) for my next rendition of What The Hell Is Going On! Love you, reader.

*Joey is my boyfriend. Cool!